yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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