I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
