I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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