ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
