She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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