WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
