The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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