you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
