I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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