AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
