I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
