Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
