Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
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