Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
You left your phone here
Wait...
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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