I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
