Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
