Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
