Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
