This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
