I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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