Dual....:-)
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
