I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
