All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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