After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
