yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
