Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Drake has all the answers
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
