one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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