Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
