There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
