Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
