Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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