So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
