My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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