I can text with my tongue
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
