3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
