By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Let's get the cat blown out
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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