you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
