Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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