It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
