You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Randomize
