dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
