8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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