So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
