he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
