i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
