I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
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