i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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