Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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