he wants to bone in the snuggie
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
3pm strippers are depressing
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
