I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
My feet surprised me
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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